But as you linger over the picture, you understand something:
It's such a strange feeling. It feels too perfect to be true, at the same time as it feels hopelessly doomed. She's so beautiful and talented and charismatic, at the same time as she's frustrating, flippant and stubborn. She knows her own value, but she's always trying to build your confidence for you, too. When it comes down to it, she has the type advantage, and that is as intriguing as it is daunting.
You can't be too daunted when there's a security in this setup that you've never had before, though. Perhaps you can't control her, but you can show her the truth! You already made her accept your romance! Make her accept your life together! If you fail, you will mourn her with a clear conscience, without any regrets! Whether she lives or dies, it is as your beloved!
You had a commonality with him, and you were desperate for the acknowledgment of someone you could trust to be telling the truth, without flattering or consoling you. Yes, you built up momentum in that early desperation, and it carried you very far away... But, in the end, you got what you wanted, didn't you? You really thought you were lying to everyone when you said you would end things definitively, part without regrets, and then be a better friend to him afterwards. Isn't that exactly what happened, though? Incredible. You are sincerely happy to have such a close friend.
She's a sensible, dependable woman, and you're glad she's a teammate of yours. You were surprised to hear she was facing such devastating tragedy and self-criticism, and felt inspired by her tenacity in the face of it—her encouragement of you to fight, too. You can sense a wall that she keeps up, that you can't overcome with your politeness. But it's her business if she keeps the wall, you think. You only hope it helps her more than it hurts her to have it up.
[ It hurts a bit, because she feels the same way about their teammate...
She makes her way over to the photo of Lear, Gordie, and Piers. She had run into one of these gentleman before, hadn't she? She wonders what the photograph will say. ]
You didn't expect so many young, modern trainers to appear, who had no real connection to you. Are you a peer to them? Someone to look up to? You still feel like an impostor, having forgotten so much. You don't know how to approach people from your own world and your own time anymore. More than anyone else, these people hurt the most to admit your personal tragedy to. More than anyone else, they know you are an outlier. Most people at home will never go through what you went through, and haven't ever thought about it happening to them. You hope you can be of use enough to overcome that inherent discomfort, and support their bright and promising careers.
[ Ah... This resonates with her more than she thought such a photograph would. That feeling of being unworthy of being a role model, yet wanting so desperately to be of some use to the younger ones, knowing that you're an outlier...
She clutches at her chest as she makes her way to the last photo, the one of Ritsuka. ]
You have come to realize that in some ways, she is like a Pokemon that hasn't been fully domesticated. Sometimes you just can't help your desire to corral her. Still, she's an energetic young woman, with an impressive force of will, and humility that doesn't match her accomplishments. You won't ever forget the miserable experience of walking through that bloody sea of hatred. To imagine that someone with that inside of her is such a cheerful and forward-facing person—it's mesmerizing and inspirational to you. In another lifetime, where she had a different destiny, it would have been nice to be a parental figure for the long-term. But at least you have her blessing for the future. You have to do your best for her sake, too!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ she trusts Arthur's fashion sense. Just look at him.
She wanders over to some of the other photographs, and sees the one with Da Vinci and— ]
—! This is...! Did they get married without telling us...!?
[ SHE'S TEARING UP A LITTLE?? Miss Da Vinci looks so beautiful! ]
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But as you linger over the picture, you understand something:
It's such a strange feeling. It feels too perfect to be true, at the same time as it feels hopelessly doomed. She's so beautiful and talented and charismatic, at the same time as she's frustrating, flippant and stubborn. She knows her own value, but she's always trying to build your confidence for you, too. When it comes down to it, she has the type advantage, and that is as intriguing as it is daunting.
You can't be too daunted when there's a security in this setup that you've never had before, though. Perhaps you can't control her, but you can show her the truth! You already made her accept your romance! Make her accept your life together! If you fail, you will mourn her with a clear conscience, without any regrets! Whether she lives or dies, it is as your beloved!
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Oh, Mister Ingo...
[ She's absolutely going to blab about this to Da Vinci after this...
For now, she looks at... the photo with Vicious! ]
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Interesting... Ori has yet to meet this fellow, but now she knows about. This. ]
Oh! This one is of Lucretia...
[ She will look at that one, now! ]
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[ It hurts a bit, because she feels the same way about their teammate...
She makes her way over to the photo of Lear, Gordie, and Piers. She had run into one of these gentleman before, hadn't she? She wonders what the photograph will say. ]
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She clutches at her chest as she makes her way to the last photo, the one of Ritsuka. ]
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